I am a french fry connoisseur and I have strong opinions on all aspects of this delicious and important component of the combo meal. There is an art to the french fry and things like length, width, crispness and seasoning should all be factors in deciding who has the best fries and why...

I was recently at Steak & Shake, where they have fabulous steak burgers and an extensive assortment of tasty hand dipped milkshakes, malts and smoothies, guaranteed to satisfy your yearning for some cold, creamy goodness. Their french fries, however, are not up to par. Their fries are of the shoestring variety, which I find to be too skinny, easily broken, and unable to pick up very much ketchup and not crisp. You need an entire handful of these fries to get a solid mouthful. In addition, the thinness of the fry lowers the surface area for the absorption of salt. These fries suck.

McDonald's fries have not changed much over the years...they are, what I consider to be, quite reliable. They are thicker than shoestring, but not particularly fat. They can scoop up a solid amount of ketchup with just a few fries in hand. The amount of time they spend in the fryalator (it's a real word...trust me, I looked it up) surely must be a protected industry secret, because the crispness is the gold standard by which all others are measured. Very rarely do I encounter a McDonald's french fry that disappoints, unless, of course, they are cold. That's a real bummer. What McDonald's also gets high marks for is the saltiness of their fries...they are salty and delicious. But they are not the best...

Wendy's has fat fries, which are great for ketchup consumption!! You can really pick up a lot of the beautiful, red condiment with a Wendy's fry. They are  not seasoned very well, however, which requires me to add several packets of salt throughout the eating process, and sometimes, that salt leaks through the cardboard fry container and into my cup holder in my car. Later, the folks at the car wash place will clean that out for me, but until then, it just annoys me. Due to the thickness of the Wendy's fry, they have the proclivity towards being on the limp side of the crispness spectrum, which can be a disappointment. However, the real plus to a Wendy's fry is not just about the fry...it's about dipping the fry into the Chocolate Frosty. Don't knock it until you try it, folks. It's heaven and I do believe that's what Wendy's fries were meant for.

Burger King fries are okay...they changed them up a while back to more closely resemble McDonald's french fries (that's my personal opinion and not based on any scientific data) and they added some coating to the fries which I find to be just okay. It's not great, but it's not bad either. They still require plenty of salt and of course, a butt load of ketchup. If you haven't gotten it yet, I love ketchup. But that's another blog for another time. We'll get to the condiment thing down the road...right now, I need to stay focused.

The best french fries are out there, my friends. And they come in the form of a delightful surprise when you open up the styrofoam container from one of your local to-go joints. I know of two places, one I've been a big fan of for all my three years in Cincy...the other I just stumbled across by accident yesterday. Yes...I'm talking about CRINKLE CUT FRENCH FRIES. They are, in my humble food critic opinion, the best french fries ever. Let me argue on their behalf...

First of all, they rock. Just the look of a crinkle cut fry screams, "I'm different and, dammit, I’m good to eat." Crinkle cuts, when done properly in the fryalator, are hardly ever limp, and it's because of the crinkles!! It increases the surface area for the oil to fry the fry, and so therefore, there is more of the crispness throughout the length. The only time a crinkle cut fry is limp is when you bake them at home in the oven. Don't do that...please...get a Fry Daddy or something and do the crinkle cut fry some justice.

For the same reason as above, crinkle cut fries are the best for condiment dipping and salt absorption. The greater the surface area, the more substances they can pick up! Traditionally, crinkle cuts are in the medium to long range, and that's just better for your mouth all around. When you do encounter a short, stubby crinkle cut...behold it's greatness! They are rare and are considered a delicacy in the french fry world, due to their amazing crispness!! 

So, by now your mouth is watering and you're probably wondering where to obtain the best fries in the world?? I'm sure there are more places locally than just these two...but I would highly recommend you try these places, because I know they have them and I know they are awesome. First place is Riverfront Pizza just over the bridge in Covington. They have been a favorite of mine for years, due to the fact that I lived in a hotel across the street for the first three months when I moved here. I ate at Riverfront quite a bit. They have awesome meatball subs and crinkle cut french fries and I prefer dipping them in their ranch dressing. Trust me on this one...I'll never steer you wrong. And the second place I know with crinkles I just discovered yesterday on a fluke...it's The Hitching Post in Hyde Park. I was in that area and needed to grab some lunch, so walked in and ordered a burger and fries to go. So, imagine my surprise when I got back to my office and discovered a large serving of crinkle cut fries!! Made my day, honestly...but some say I'm easy to please.

Do you know of any other places with crinkles? Have differing opinions on the subject of fries? Feel free to let me know!